Studio Salad

This was my social media paraded panic purchase as Christmas loomed without a gift for my wife. It’s called a “Gardyn” and as the ticking time-bomb to the holiday clicked down, I closed my eyes, held my breath and blew up my credit card on an unknown product that used a ‘y’ in its name in place of an ‘e.’ It is notoriously difficult to buy Gretchen a gift, especially as a procrastinator.

The Gardyn is a 5-and-a-half foot wall of salad with a built-in hydroponic watering system and sunlamps that can be seen from Menasha. For a while we put it in the kitchen next to a window so Gretchen could grow various lettuces and herbs in full view of the neighbors. Quickly, we noticed the neighbors up their curtain game with room darkening drapes.

Currently we’re growing bright pink swiss chard, seven lettuces like Monte Carlo and “Flashy” lettuce—I find lettuce names cute—strawberries, collard greens, purple basil which taste like an Italian exploded in my mouth. We’re growing ALL the herbs. Rosemary…blessed rosemary—I’d eat rosemary on everything if Gretchen would let me.

So the thing is, I stole it. The best presents are the ones that come back to you; I’m pretty sure that’s a saying. “Oh Gretchen, don’t you think this bright light looks bad in the kitchen? But where are we going to put it? Well, there’s a spot in my art studio!” It’s in there now, next to my easel and the oil painting I started last July, slowly tanning me and distracting me. I spend a lot of time chatting up the veg, complimenting their leaves instead of working. I watch the botanicals morph and materialize and think the Mustard greens look for all the world like they might answer.